Tuesday, September 9, 2014

#WhyIStayed #WhyILeft

I'm going to get serious for a minute about all this Ray Rice woman-beater news. Need a refresher? Take a look:

I keep hearing people say "Well, she lunged at him!" and "She was going to hit him first!" "She did hit him!" "She shouldn't have been heading toward him!"

Let me tell you something: I don't give a shit.

Two men in my life - whom I love and respect dearly - have been victims of domestic abuse. Yes, MALE victims of abusive females. And you know how many of those females they hit back?


Here are a few of the incidents.
Male knocked out cold by a skillet. Male kneed in the groin until he can no longer stand. Male kicked in the head so hard - while driving his young daughter in a vehicle on a highway - he almost fell unconscious. Male hit with a steel pole. Male cussed at, spit on, and slapped in the face repeatedly. Male pushed down the stairs and then kicked in the stomach.
Not a single time after any of these instances did either male raise a hand. In fact, both males, on more than one occasion, were threatened with lawsuits and further physical altercation after moving out of the way to avoid contact or holding up their arms to shield themselves. Both males were football players. Neither female weighed more than 140 pounds. And NEVER did they strike back. Not. One. Time.

You know how long these attacks went on? Years. You know how long the males stayed with the females? Years.

Male 1: #whyhestayed - she convinced him that nobody would ever love him as much as she would, and that he wasn't a man unless he took her back; it was all he'd ever known.
             #whyheleft - he learned what it meant to be a man. He discovered who he could be, what he could do. And he knew that his baby sister wouldn't put up with that woman treating him like that for too long.

Male 2: #whyhestayed - he loved his babies and was scared to raise them alone; he didn't think any female could ever love him after that; he thought all women would be the same; he thought it might get better; he felt numb to it; it was all he'd ever known.
              #whyheleft - he loved the babies too much to risk their safety.

Let's not forget that the hashtags for #WhyIStayed and #WhyILeft are not gender specific. Men are also victims of domestic violence. And they can be victims without EVER responding violently or deserving it.

All that being said.....

I love Male1 and Male2 more than words could say. They are the best men & the best daddies that I have ever seen, and I could not possibly have more r e s p e c t . for them.

Also, I think Ray Rice is a punk bitch and I have no doubt that someone in prison will remind him of that some day.