Monday, June 12, 2017

Week 10

Dates: June 4 – June 10

How far along
: 10 Weeks on June 8th

Size of the Baby: Prune
Baby Development: Baby is about 1.5 inches long, is taking a more human shape, and getting tooth buds

Total Weight Gain/Loss: 0

Maternity Clothes: Give me all the stretchy pants.

Gender: Unknown

Movement: Apparently, we are moving BACKWARDS. More on this later…

Sleep: What’s sleep?

What I Miss: Fitting into my work pants.   

Cravings and Aversions: Nada!

Symptoms: Chest is still sore and getting deep veins. My irritability is trailing off, but I’ve had some spotting (again, more on this later).  

Best Moment this Week: My phone call from the doctor today saying that my HCG levels are normal
Not-So-Great Moment this Week: Our terrifying first ultrasound. 
Looking forward to: Our follow up ultra sound next Tuesday!
An Update….
The first weekend in June was full of some terrifying, stressful moments. My 14 year old stepdaughter Peyton ran away, and we spent every resource we could think of trying to track her down. I went viral on Facebook (which isn’t very exciting when the reason is unpleasant), and her photo was shared over 7,000. Two counties, three police departments, and a sheriff’s office were on the lookout for her. Luckily, she was found safely after two days. Our prayer at this point is that she can find happiness and safety in her health, even though it will no longer be in our home.
That being said, I spent the majority of the weekend trying to regulate my stress and blood pressure. My stepmom support group (yes, those actually exist, and I am in one!) told me over and over to take care of Baby first. I tried to relax, but it’s hard to do knowing that your eldest kiddo – one whom you’ve had a rocky-at-best relationship with over the last five years and is currently hating your guts – is missing.
Tuesday morning, with Peyton safe and sound, I told Chris that I had a weird feeling about our ultra sound. I couldn’t put my finger on it, but my excitement had fluttered to anxiety and uncertainty. When the time finally came to hear the heartbeat and the doctor had me all juiced up on her machine, there was silence.
We couldn’t find a heartbeat. The doctor changed machines, switching from a heartbeat monitor to a full sonogram. Still, nothing.
We moved on to a transvaginal ultrasound, where we found a teeny tiny little yolk sac measuring just 5-6 weeks in size. Except… I’m 9 weeks and 5 days. That’s four weeks off.
As I am the Queen of Doom and Gloom, I mentally started preparing for the worst. However, they sent me for immediate blood work, which came back normal for 5-6 weeks. This was still progress from the blood work I had done two weeks prior. 
The doctor thinks I ovulated late, since I had only been off birth control for 1 month and may not have been regulated yet.  When I first tested positive on May 2nd, my HCG levels were at a measly 40, literally DAYS after conception. This week, they’re at over 13,000. So we are progressing at perfectly normal rate. I’ll just feel like I’m pregnant .f o r e v e r.
Alas, the Doom and Gloom struck again when I began spotting a few hours after the appointment. The on-call doctor said my T/V ultrasound may have caused the cervix to bleed, since it is ultra-sensitive at the moment. And since I’m only measuring 5-6 weeks, spotting is much more common.
I’ve been spotting continuously since the appointment last Tuesday; and I still have a lot of questions. 4 weeks is a big difference in ovulation. And what about that tiny little baby bump in my 9 week photo? Is that a food baby? Bloat baby? Not a baby at all? My mind has asked these questions over and over, but we will wait until tomorrow when we have another ultrasound to check the progression of my sweet little bean sac. We are praying for progress, health, and strength. (Of course, if we’re praying for things, I might as well pray for 11 weeks instead of 6 – no one likes counting backwards!)
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared. I'm terrified. But we are going to keep praying and staying positive. . Keep us in your thoughts and send your good ju-ju.

Weeks 8-9


How far along: 8-9 Weeks

Size of the Baby: Strawberry at 8 weeks, Olive at 9


Baby Development: Baby is about ¾ of an inch long, and developing organs, bones, and teeny tiny eyes and ears.   

Total Weight Gain/Loss: 0

Maternity Clothes: I bought my first preggo shirt for Memorial Day, “Red, White, and DUE.” I also grabbed a few maternity work shirts that I found on sale $5.99 SCORE.

Gender: Unknown

Movement: Science says I’m wrong, but I’m convinced I can feel tiny little flutters. It feels similar to getting a nerve twitch; like teeny little tugs from the inside of my tummy. Laying on my stomach is becoming slightly uncomfortable due to pressure from uterus (which is now the size of a grapefruit… Yay, science!)

Sleep: I usually have to get up to pee, and I cannot seem to get my neck and back comfortable. I’m also having some pretty wild dreams. For instance, last night we forgot to build stairs in our new house, and I have to hoist myself and Baby Neal to the 2nd floor through a chicken coop window. 

What I Miss: Nada!   

Cravings and Aversions: Last week, I had a craving for chocolate cake… I settled for cappuccino yogurt, and felt ohsogross afterward. Chips and salsa are my current go-to. And LOTS of water. Like 3 liters a day! I’m also usually a big fan of leftovers, but they are suddenly seeming a bit gross to me. 

Symptoms: My chest is finally getting sore – but still not as bad as I expected. Mostly just if I run – which, let’s face is, is a rarity. According to my husband, I’m just “really kind of bad at it.”  

Best Moment this Week: Last Wednesday, I toured the infant room at Faith Church with my momma. I also had my first OB appointment at Hillcrest, but it was mostly just blood work.  And Peyton said she would like to be in the room during delivery (as long as she doesn’t have to stand by my feet – HA!)  

And this super sweet conversation: 

Monday, May 22 2017

Peyton, on going into high school next Fall: “Ugh, what is my purpose in life?!”
Me: Girl, I’m 30 and still don’t know what my purpose is.
Peyton: Sure you do. It’s to be a mom.

Not-So-Great Moment this Week: Being my husband’s chauffeur. And thereby, everyone else’s chauffeur. I’m also a bit irritable, which is exhausting. 

Looking forward to: Our first visit with the Doctor next Tuesday, which also means our first ultra sound!

Post script.... my work has locked down their security settings, and I wasn't able to post this when I initially wrote it. Without going into details, Peyton is no longer living with us. It is heart breaking for both me and her dad, but it's the best option for all of us. Hopefully in the future we can work to restore our relationship.